The Pants Are Expanding: Our Adoption Plan
So where did I leave off the last time I shared our story about adoption? Oh yes, it was HERE talking about our actual process of adoption. Whew, that post was a while ago! We have been busy getting ready for our world to turn upside. (But really, can you ever really be ready?!)
Today I’d like to share with you a little bit about our adoption PLAN and why we chose the route we did. We are having an open adoption, which means we are getting to know the birth mom (we are calling her B), before she delivers – and we intend to include her in our lives, and the life of our baby girl as she grows up. We prayed about what sort of involvement we wanted to have with the birth mom /birth dad, and knew God would lead us to the answer. So. Open adoption it is!
And based on a lot of reading I have been doing, this option for the child to KNOW her birth mom, and potentially develop a relationship (all when the timing is right for the child, of course) is a huge positive for the adopted child. So many adoptees who never knew they were adopted, or never had the chance to meet their birth parent(s) grew up with “something missing” and if we can prevent that for our daughter, then I’m all for it. (THIS book was one of many great reads on the topic.)
We were matched with B the Friday the week before Christmas in 2017 – what an awesome gift! We have spoken with her multiple times per week since then. We even went to meet her in March! I’m not sharing photos of her, because I want to protect her privacy. But I can tell you that she is beautiful. And she is funny. And feisty. And smart. It has been a great joy to get to know her.
Adoption is such a selfless act. B has more courage than most of the people I have met over the course of my lifetime. B hasn’t had the easiest life, and she already has children that she needs to focus on and make up for some lost time when she wasn’t able to give them all of herself. So adding a newborn to the mix was just something she and the birth dad agreed they could not provide for properly. She was introduced to multiple family profiles, narrowed it down to two to talk to, and said she got “goose bumps” when we first talked and knew that we were the right family for her to place her baby with. I cannot describe how humbling that is. To be entrusted with another woman’s baby to raise as our own.
She said she wanted to be able to provide the gift of a baby to a woman who was not able to give birth to one herself. And having met her, and talked and texted with her multiple times per week as she goes through this pregnancy, the multiple doctor’s visits, the discomfort, the stress it puts on her body – and we haven’t even gotten to the labor & delivery part. (!) She KNOWS all of this pain and discomfort and inconvenience of growing a baby in her womb, because she has given birth before. She is going through all of this AGAIN. For ME. And for our DAUGHTER. Now it has become personal. She loves me. She loves my husband. And we love her. This isn’t something you experience in a semi-open or closed adoption, y’all. This is real. It’s a blessing to know this woman. And I will be able to tell tell stories to our daughter about the friendship both of her mothers developed while she growing fingers & toes. I’m hopeful we can all sit around a table together someday and laugh together.
B is due June 12, but the baby is measuring like she’ll make an appearance a week or so early. We are hopeful to be able to confirm an induction date as we near the middle of May. For now we wait. Our nursery is done (photos soon), we have a baby shower this weekend, and then we’ll be pre-packing all of the baby’s gear that we’ll be taking with us. We will be driving to Florida and are prepared to stay up to 3 weeks (please, God, let it only be 10 days!). The length of time depends on how long the baby has to stay in the hospital, and then the state of Florida has to approve the interstate adoption and “release” the baby and then state of Texas has to approve the interstate adoption and “accept” the baby. It’s too bad B lives in Gainesville and not in Seaside while we wait for the paperwork to be approved. ha ha!
So for now, I am busy nesting. And writing thank you cards daily. We are keeping Amazon in business between our baby registry, grocery delivery, and (admittedly) clothing and accessories. And even air plants – who knew?!